Day 5 Mindfulness Journal

Chronicle the Black Woman's Rise, Empowered Womyn Mindset, Womanist Empowerment

Day 5
Mindfulness Journal
Mindfulness as a form of Self-Therapy

I’ve been on a quest since Junior College trying to find answers to life. As if a young women would go against the norms and question the very meaning of her being . A philosophical question was posed. What if there was no God? This went against everything I had been taught. My father, a Methodist Minister was who I admired. All we four siblings ever knew were the teachings of the Bible.

All that was about to change when at twenty-one I would have it my way. I put on the back burner everything I was taught, including the teachings of the Bible. Furthermore it never made any sense to me. This began my questioning of the rules made by the ruling class. I looked under rocks, swam across the vast ocean, stood on a cliff and jumped, knowing there was a bottom, but not knowing when I would land.

I was running on automatic pilot. As if there was a being inside of me pushing all the buttons, kicking down the door, running at high speed. From the outside I looked like junkie looking for the next fix, an addiction that would never be filled, trying to feed a hunger, not giving my life what it truly desired, feeling like there was this big question and I had to find the answers.

I would never stop hitting a brick wall. When I did, I would retrace my steps, make a slight detour and move on. Not standing still for too long. Knowing very well water become polluted if it is not flowing. I was like a sailor taking on the challenge to cross the vast ocean to get to the other side. Not knowing where I would land. The sheer excitement of the voyage was what I was after. I found that and more, such has been the essence of my life.

Always wanting to be accepted, but never did I find the refuge in the heart of the other. In the past this troubled me. I would implode and make the same choice. Knowledge is what I devoured trying to find myself. I have come to the conclusion that I had better love and accept myself. Love whom I have become, appreciate the decisions I made, glance over my shoulders and move on.

I have been a tiny spark that grew into a mighty flame, burning a pathway to happiness. A passion inside of me for answers to the meaning of my life. I am worthy I accept this as fact.

Self-Inquiry

Building a Strong Inner LIfe through Poetry & Talk, Chronicle the Black Woman's Rise, Spiritual Awakening, Womanist Empowerment

Inquiring into the Nature of my being
and the nature of “God”.
One single thing.

I wake to the sounds of the dog
Scratching at the bars of his cage.

For a moment
I lie in darkness
Tiny lights flicker from a statue.
So I can see.

What time is it?
I always wonder
Feeling better if I’ve slept
A full night.

No, it’s three in the morning.

Before I get out of bed
I slink back into myself
Like a turtle back into his shell.

Thoughts flood my mind
Like the moonlight
On a dark starless night.

I’m everything.
The words come from a place
Deep inside of me.

I’m Oprah, Obama,
Dr King,
Daishiki,
Even Trump.
These thoughts lay gently within me.

Into the arena of Inquiry
I ascend.

A search for the truth
As it appears to me,
Raw and naked
Open and unashamed.

This life is one single thing,
Expressed as everything.

The left and the right of my brain merge into a whole.
I see God at work in everything.

I open my eyes
Wake from the hypnosis and conditioning
Let the dog out of his cage.

We step into the crisp morning air
So we both can feel a sense of relief.