I felt like nothingness.
One foot in the past.
The other dangling in oblivion.
Created an imbalance in my personality.
Thrust me mercilessly
Through the levels of my unrest.
Searching for ideas
That would calm my restlessness.
Chanting brought a level of
That Connected me to…
The Quantum Mind.
There I discovered my True Self.
The reason for my unrest was found when I dug through my psyche and discovered how I had been brainwashed. I lived the life of a Methodist minister. My father’s life was my own. We went to church every Sunday and were known as the Preacher’s Kid, (PK) for short. Subsequently I never questioned the concept of God until I had been exposed to ideas. Especially a Philosophy class that expanded my views of the world. The professor posed a question, “what would change how you thought?” I considered the matter quietly. “What if there was no God?” Then the life that I lived would be a lie. Before I could live free, I would have to expose the conditioning that made me accept the white world as my reality.
Unquestionably, I would have to expose how cultural conditioning shaped the concept of Blackness. For the most part, my young life was enraptured in a black world. Whiteness became an idea when I went to school. Education wasn’t about me. It was the history of the white man. Most ideas that were spread came from the white world. These icons captured the psyche of a little girl and twisted her mind to accept her status of being less than.
Despite the prevailing images the knowledge I consumed declared, I was a person with a cultural history. The belief that I was a person with individual thoughts and emotions fed my intellect.
Without a doubt it was the American Education System that I had to crush. For example, I was assimilated into the dominant culture to believe I was a blank-slate to be filled from the outside world. Teachers pierced my subconscious mind, which was fertile ground, like boring a hole in a cavern and filling it up until there was no room left for my mind to comprehend of itself. My mind had been force-fed a history of who I was starting with slavery. As if I did not exist but in the minds of the other. Away from the cultural conditioning of American Education, the meaninglessness that I felt had to be exhumed.
Clearly, I wasn’t an empty basin to be filled with information from the outside world. On the contrary, I was like a seed. Encoded in my DNA was all that I was to become. Children already know what they like until they are exposed to the outside world. My two grandsons have an opinion about the world. As a matter of fact, they know more than me. Their beliefs about the self will not be challenged.
Similar, there existed in me a drive to know the truth about myself. This led me to the idea about the Quantum Field which explained a concept that my previous Buddhist training and study presented as a core belief. It is the belief that each person’s life contain an infinite potential. I did not totally grasp the magnitude of the concept that there were three thousand realms that contain unlimited potential until I was introduced to the Quantum Field. This Quantum Field contain the past, present and future and all sentient beings which are all connected in one continuous moment. Research more about the three thousand realms @ sgi.org.
Similarly, the brain is like a broadcast station. It sends out and receives signals. The frequency is your emotions and feelings. A lower frequency will bring stress back to the body. On the other hand, high frequency emotions will elicit happiness and joy.
Clearly, finding meaning and purpose was my pursuit. Along the way, I found about me and how to hack into the mind. This mind is intellect. It is reading books to remember, to understand the world, to understand myself.
Furthermore, my search for happiness returned to me Buddhism. Buddhism is not a religion. It is a study of the mind. Its ideas wrapped me in an embrace, like finding a long-lost friend. The camaraderie with the people gave me somewhere to belong and something valuable to do with my time. I followed the guidance of President Ideka.
On my quest to know more. The Quantum Field delivered me ideas beyond the scope of my imagination. Buddhism helped me to solve my problems and gave me what I longed for.
Above all, what is the desire or intention for your life? If it is clear, you will send a clear signal. On the other hand, if you are not in touch with your emotions, by default you will receive the strongest signal you are broadcasting. Most times the feeling that consume our consciousness are negative ones because they are the easiest to manifest. They do not take much work. If you want to be happy and successful it will take work.
For example, during meditation take the time to rewire your brain through thought alone. If you have been following my Blog, this will make sense to you. If not peruse some of my past Blogs and you will come to know.
As a baby you took in the thoughts of those around you as your own. You were mostly a Subconscious Mind. Everything entered in to your mind unfiltered by experience or a discerning eye. Years later you came to realize you were separate and could have your own thoughts. Are still operating on a program of someone else’s design, that you follow blindly because it’s expected of you?
You may ask, am I the body? You agree to this idea and you become the Body-Mind. The body is programming the Mind. The outside world is real. It is all that you know. Still there is an evolving mind that wants to know of itself. You sense an uneasiness when you delve into the mind looking for answers.
The mind left alone finds all manner of problems to solve. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I seem to make traction towards my goals? This endless pursuit of questions drove me to live in the world of learning. Buddhism teaches that there are ten worlds that humans move in and out throughout a life time. From Hell to Heaven, Rapture, Anger Animosity to name a few. These worlds are states of mind that according to the external stimulus one can move in and out of. Before long, an entire lifetime has passed and not a moment of reflection to the purpose of life.
In the lower worlds we are a victim to our environment. When something happens in our external world we descend into these lower states of life. Say you’re driving to work. Traffic is moving slow. You glance down at your watch. Only ten minutes to get across town. You’ve already been late twice this month. Your boss told you, if you’re late one more time this month he’s going to put you on probation. Your heart starts to race. Fingers clinch the steering wheel. You lay in your horn wanting the guy in front of you to speed up. He’s slows down. You ride his tail. Your emotions in your body are controlling the thoughts in your head. Thoughts are jumbled. Anxiety rears its ugly head. This job pays the rent. There’s nothing in your bank account.
Life happens. Most times we are not prepared to deal with too many things happening at once. This pattern of responding registers in the body. Now it’s a habitual way of reacting to the everyday stresses of life. All this is normal. You live with this stress. If you get a headache you reach for a pill. These conditioned responses become your normal way to live. You don’t know any other way to respond. Your brain has been hardwired. You do not really have to think.
Science says we are 5% conscious and 95% unconscious. Some things we do not want to think about, such as breathing and heart beat and all the other ways the brain keeps the body alive.
After living over sixty years in stress and survival the body began to break down. It can’t make the hormones and keep the central nervous center happy. It was using all the energy to survive.
There is another way to live. To tap into the quantum field using elevated Emotions. Elevated Emotions and trusting in the flow of life is a better way to live. Trust in the Infinite Intelligence in the Universe. Release all negativity to the Quantum Field. In return, you will have a feel a sense of calm and be ready to respond positively to the stressors of life.